is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
