Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
