Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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