If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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