Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
