Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
