Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
