he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
