I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
