Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
barbara walters just said penis...
he thought i was a dude.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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