I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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