WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Did I show you my penis last night?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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