Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
