There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
