the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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