Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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