BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
