Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What did we do last night that was yellow?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
