didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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