wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
