About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Randomize
