Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
