he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
