69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
