I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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