how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
