First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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