Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
