I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
