Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
