I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
