Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
