I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
