why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
