so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
