So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In other news, I just burned my penis
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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