It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
