I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
