Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
