AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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