She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
