white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
