i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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