We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
