i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
