I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
