Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
