OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no, he came in my armpit
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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