im drinking this country out of the recession.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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