He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
