Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
